Mr. Cleo does the East side

Now you read the western conference 1st round picks, get ready to call your bookie after reading my Eastern conference predictions. I have a 80 percent success rate! Ha, but seriously I get calls from these Italian mobster sounding guys, telling me they win like 75 percent of their bets or something and you pay them to give you the selections. What a joke. Enough with the calls guys. To the picks!

#1 Chicago Bulls Vs. #8 Indiana Pacers

I truly believe that there is no way these Bulls make it to the finals. Orlando might even take them out in the second round. Derrick Rose is oh so nasty but the rest of the team just isn’t ready for prime time if you ask me. Another thing I’m gonna tell you is that this Bulls team may NEVER win a title. I believe Miami will become a powerhouse starting possibly this season so if there is a year for Chicago to win it all, they better do it now. Indiana has some decent young players and might show that the Bulls are very beatable but this one’s a wrap. SWEEP. Bulls in 4.

#2 Miami Heat Vs. #7 Philadelphia 76ers

Sorry Dougy but your team is going to lose in the first round of the playoffs like they always do. It’s not his fault this time around though as the Heat are just a much better team. Every night when I say my prayers I hope to God that Doug dies his hair back to the bleached blonde. I feel it was a real high point for him. I love the 76ers roster and they will only get better but they stand no chance in this matchup. Lebron is going to be on a mission to show that he is a better player then Derek Rose(which he is) and D wade is feeling real good. Ru Paul, I mean Chris Bosh also seems inspired lately and I can see him having a nice series. Flame on. Miami Sweeps.

#3 Boston Celtics Vs. #6 New York Knicks

God I wish the Knicks would win this series. I have gone from kind of rooting for the Celtics the last couple years to not being able to stand watching them. I hate Paul Pierce and I can’t figure out why. Jeff Green looks atrocious since they traded for him and Nenad Krstic is a total bum. Rondo seems to not get along with his older teammates and I just don’t see this team being able to win it all this year or ever again with its current roster. Jesus Shuttlesworth continues to defy the law of aging and seems as good as ever. What a great career he has had. I’m almost positive the Celtics would win the whole thing if they still had Kendrick “frowny face” Perkins. Or not.

On paper I could make a case for the Knicks winning this series. They have 2 of the 10 best players in basketball and a savvy, clutch shooting point guard in Chauncey Billups. Toney Douglas is one of the most underrated scorers in the league and could go off at any moment. Shawne Williams is capable of hitting some big shots and is a good defender as well. After these guys it gets a little sketchy. Anthony Carter, Sheldon Williams, and Jared Jeffries shouldn’t even be in the NBA, let alone playing meaningful minutes. Carmelo has been hit or miss with the Knicks this year, hitting 3 game winning shots, and also messing up the rhythm of the offense at times….or always. They need another year or two to build the right kind of players around Stat and Melo as there just seems to be something missing. Celtics in 5.

#4 Orlando Magic Vs. #5 Atlanta Hawks

Wow, what happened to the Orlando Magic this season. They have majorly dropped off and nobody is considering them a legitimate threat to come out of the East. I’ll tell you what happened. Rashard Lewis was so terrible that they had to trade him for a injury ruined Gilbert Arenas. They traded their backup center and Vince Carter hoping Hedo Turkoglu would turn back into the player he was the year they made it to the finals. Jason Richardson has been pretty good but I think they panicked just a little. Lewis ended up getting hurt anyway so I guess a bum knee having Gilbert Arenas is better then having a guy not playing at all. At least that’s the case when your other backup point guard is Chris Duhon. Can someone tell me why the hell this guy is in the NBA? He was highly overrated coming out of high school and looked weak in college at Duke. He has been nothing but horrendous in the NBA, yet he continues to steal money from the league. There are many better players in the NBDL or europe. Trust me on this one. My god he is terrible. The Magic could really use Gortat right now as I feel like him and Howard playing together could be a problem for the Chicago Bulls in the second round. I guess we will never know.

Atlanta has an interesting team and has made it to the 2nd round the past couple seasons but that streak will come to an end this year. They never should have paid Joe Johnson that much money in the off season. Of course he had his worst season as a Hawk this season. Now they can’t pay Josh Smith and will have to let him go as a free agent. I suppose Bremerton, Washington’s finest, Marvin Williams will step in at small forward. Yea the guy they drafted instead of Chris Paul or Deron Williams, even when they already had Josh Smith at the position. Williams is such a cupcake he might be more overpaid then Chris Duhon. Unfortunately for the Hawks they will probably lose Jamal Crawford, a player Washington state can actually be proud of, to free agency as well. This team is stuck in the middle as they will make the playoffs every year, but have no chance of ever coming of out the East. Kind of reminds me of the days they had Steve Smith, Kevin Willis, and Mookie Blaylock. I have hear so many experts say that Jason Collins will be the key in this series because of the defense(I.E. flopping) that he plays against Howard. Are you kidding me? I want to lock some of these “experts” in a room with the Ultimate Warrior for an hour based on some of the nonsense they spew out. Jason Collins?????! Enough. I can’t take it anymore. Orlando in 6.

Shout out to the Ultimate Warrior, the greatest wrestler of all time. Learn about it.