Paging Miss Cleo. My first round Western conference playoff predictions

This year the playoff outcomes are harder to predict then which celeb Justin Timberlake will have sex with next. I love it!

I’m not telling you not to trust me. I know what I’m talking about and I feel like you can put money up on every prediction I make, just don’t show up on my doorstep with a gun after you blow your kid’s college fund betting on the Grizz and Thunder on a parlay. I know the playoffs have already started but I was out of town and couldn’t find the inspiration to touch on this subject but after countless emails begging me to show them the future, I had to respond. I would do anything for my readers. Even kill……..just kidding! Lets get to it!!

Western Conference

#1 San Antonio Spurs Vs. #8 Memphis Grizzlies

If you know anything about me I am part of Grizz nation and have been a believer the past few months of the season. They have had the identical record of the Spurs since the 1st of January and finished the season very, very strongly(other then the 2 games they lost on purpose at the end of the season). Ginobili missed game 1 but will be back for the rest of the series and boy do the Spurs need his shooting and playmaking. Tim Duncan doesn’t have the stamina to control the game for 4 quarters anymore and I believe he is going to get pounded harder then Adam Lambert on a night out at “the Hole,” one of my favorite bars in San Diego.

The Grizz have 3 big guys who are capable of dropping 20 points in Zach Randolph, Marc Gasol, and Darrell Arthur. They can all hit open jump shots and work the post. Randoph and Gasol work especially well together seemingly always knowing where one another is and making the extra pass. Tony Allen seems to have as much confidence as any player in the league right now, getting in the passing lanes, finishing with dunks, and even hitting the occasional jumper. O.J. Mayo and Shane Battier have to be huge off the bench for Memphis as they are pretty much the only guys who can hit 3’s on their team since the loss of Rudy Gay for the season. Mike Conley has to find a way to stay in front of Tony Parker and stop him from penetrating. If he does that I think Memphis can pull off the upset. Call me crazy but I believe this will be the 3rd time in NBA history that the 8th seed wins in the first round. Here’s to hoping Ginobili uses this off season to do something about his bald spot. It disturbs me. Grizzlies in 7!

#2 Los Angeles Lakers Vs. #7 New Orleans Hornets

There is absolutely no way the Hornets could pull of this series. The Lakers would have to give it away. Chris Paul has not been himself for long stretches this season because of his knee injury and he will have to play like a God for them to have a chance. Emeka Okafor is a peon compared to Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum and David West was lost for the season with a torn ACL. Who’s left you ask? It will take a combination of Trevor Ariza, Jarrett Jack, Carl Landry, Marco Belinelli, and Willie Green all playing out of their minds. Even if these play way above their heads they shouldn’t stand a chance. However, I will enjoy Chris Paul destroying Derek Fischer time and time again. If I was Phil Jackson, which I’m glad I’m not because then I would be dating Jeannie Buss, I would seriously consider playing Shannon Brown serious minutes to guard Paul. The size advantage of the Lakers will be to much as they could not have asked for a better matchup then the Hornets, who have the look of a team that doesn’t belong. Lakers in 5.

#3 Dallas Mavericks Vs. #6 Portland Trailblazers

If only Kobe Bryant didn’t make that 3 pointer to send the Lakers game to overtime in the last game of the season. Then Dallas could coast through the first round against the hapless Hornets and get ready for the Lakers. Now they are forced to play this scary Blazers team. Portland is being picked by seemingly every sports writer to upset the Mavs but I don’t see it. If Brandon Roy was half the man he used to be before his injuries I would choose Portland in a heartbeat, but Portland lacks the shooters to hang with Dallas. Gerald Wallace has turned to beast mode since being acquired from Charlotte, but I like Dallas’s center combination of Tyson Chandler and Brendan Haywood to keep him from getting to loose in the paint. If you the paint away from Wallace he is forced to depend on his jumper which is very hit or miss. I suppose Batum is a decent shooter but he can’t cary the team. That leaves LaMarcus Aldridge to carry the offense and though he is a very talented individual I think he lacks the “marbles” to carry the team right now, especially in the playoffs. Dirk Diggler just brings the death stroke with him to every game. He is one of the best shooters I have ever seen and if he gets going, look out. Peja Stojakovic has even been lighting it up when in the lineup. Jason Kidd doesn’t have to do much in this series besides not turning the ball over and hitting a few wide open 3’s and Jason Terry will provide the necessary spark off the bench. By the way how did Jason Kidd become the 3rd all time leader in made 3 pointers? He has never been known as a shooter in his career. That’s crazy to me. Crazy as him slapping his ex wife and smearing Mickey D’s french fries in her face? No, but still crazy. Mavs in 6!

#4 Oklahoma City Thunder Vs. #5 Denver Nuggets

The Thunder will make it clap all series long, sweeping the Nuggets, all in close games. The Nuggs lack a closer like Kevin Durant or Russell Westbrook and that will be the difference. The Nuggets are much deeper but when is the last time a team with a bunch of 15 point a game scorers won the NBA championship? They can’t stop my Thunder. It’s fate. Ibaka and Harden will be the difference, stepping up and providing 3rd and 4th scoring options. I like what the Nuggets are doing and I think they would beat a reeling San Antonio Spurs team and maybe would even have a better chance against the Lakers then they do the Thunder. The difference between all these teams is that the Thunder have youth and don’t mind running at all. I look into my crystal ball and see many brooms. Thunder in 4. Lock it up

I will get back to you later today with the Eastern conference playoff predictions along with my thoughts on the future rounds.