No Basketball? Bad Weather? Go see a movie!

As I awoke from a deep slumber at 5:30 this morning I realized it was cascading rain outside. Being that I reside in San Diego, the most desirable place to live in the nation, this was a huge letdown for the fact that the beach is full of “entertaining” sights, especially during Memorial day weekend! Seriously there are more thongs sported on Pacific beach then a in a “2 Live Crew” video. But I digress. My first thoughts( after my earth shattering let down that I won’t see g-strings) were that many people will hit up the movie theatre, most likely with a friend or loved one or even possibly……..alone. Yes, I’ve done this……I’m not proud of it…..

I usually view quite a few movies so I thought I could be of some assistance to you when your deciding on which to see. There will not be an enormous breakdown given here, but some basic thoughts and a letter grade ranging from A-F. Let me show you somethin!!!

Thor

To me, this was the surprise of my movie-going season. The action scenes were outstanding, but were still overshadowed by the hilarious commentary between the “Asgardians” and the humans. Natalie Portman and the highly underrated Stellan Skarsgard do a nice job as the human helpers for Thor as he is banished from his home planet and is unaccustomed to “mere mortals” way’s of life.

The transition back and forth between Asgard and Earth is smooth and the film plays out nicely, with no real dull moments. Being a former comic book reader, these movies are always of great interest to me and this may have been Marvel’s most surprising hit yet, more so then even “Iron Man.” I must also mention I saw this one in IMAX 3D, which makes any movie better in my opinion and is well worth the extra couple of bucks. On a final note, the guy who plays “Thor,” actor Chris Hemsworth, has to be a surefire future star in the movie business and his body has inspired me to take steroids, er I mean, get in better shape. I loved this movie.

Final Grade
A +

Bridesmaids

This one’s not just for the ladies, un-uh! I suppose I would compare this to last Winter’s “Hall Pass,” only about women instead and obviously a different plot. “Hall Pass” was hilarious by the way and is a must see for any fan of the comedic genre, as is this movie.

Melissa McCarthy, a friend of the bride, absolutely kills it in this flick, as she is a total scene stealer every time she makes an appearance, and is worth seeing the movie alone for. Most movies made for, or about female bonding are not my bag baby, but Bridesmaids get’s it done. Let’s put it this way, if your one of those unlucky saps who was forced to sit through movies like ” The Sweetest Thing,” which every girl I’ve ever met seems to love for some reason, you will be in for a pleasant surprise here if expecting more of the same. Take your girlfriend or wife to this with pride.

Final Grade
A-

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Is it a rule that film’s must get subsequently worse within a series? Now, this doesn’t apply for movies that are derived from books, such as the Harold Potter series, or the “Lord of the Rings” saga, but let’s be honest, sequels usually let us down. Look at the “Beverly Hills Cop” movies. The first one? An instant classic that I can watch anytime with pleasure. The second? A decent movie. Somewhat entertaining. The third? Time would be better spent shaving your dog’s balls. It’s that bad.

Anyway, back to Pirates. Once again, I saw this one in IMAX 3D as my whole immediate family was in town for my graduation. 100 bucks for 5 tickets??? Yikes! I suppose the movie was enjoyable, but I was hoping for so much more. The sometimes annoying Orlando Bloom was removed along with Kiera Knightly, so there was much hope for a fresh start and some new character development. Unfortunately for everybody involved, Penelope Cruz joins the cast, and gets way to much time on camera. Too much time speaking anyway. It seems everything she is involved with( including Tom Cruise) loses value immediately.

The film has it’s usual dose of Captain Jack, which I suppose is a good enough reason to see the movie by itself. Johnny Depp once again carries the movie as new characters such as “Captain Blackbeard” for lack of a better word, sucked. Even my old friend “Captain Barbosa,” one of the few characters remaining from the first trilogy, has lost some of his appeal. All and all, there were some cool visual effects, and a some funny parts, but if your expecting the joy that you received from the first pirates film, or maybe even the 2nd or 3rd one, you will be disappointed.

Final Grade
C+
This was given only a C+ based on the fact that they should have been able to do better then this, with the amount of money involved and the freedom to come up with a new story line. I’m sad.

The Hangover 2

Finally! A sequel that lives up to the movie that came before it. Have you ever been standing naked in the locker room and been asked “if you have a shiitake mushroom” in your pubic region? I hope not.

This is the sort of movie you start laughing in advance for what you can feel is going to happen next. There is never a dull moment as the guys head to Thailand for Stu’s wedding. Zach Galifianakis does his thing yet again, with many priceless one-liners and his distaste for Stu’s future wife’s little brother will be treasured in my heart for years to come. Stu’s run in with a prostitute takes things to a whole new level. I can’t spoil it for you, but be prepared for where it may take your mind…….

Oh, I almost forgot. “Mr. Chow” has a much bigger part in the second film and he delivers a powerful boost. It’s funny how this guy has been given quite a few roles, but this is by far and away his most entertaining character. I guess him sounding like himself, being that he is Asian-American just isn’t funny. Judging by the fact that Adidas put him in a few of their advertisements using the “Mr. Chow” voice, I’m thinking he should stick to that. Can we get a spinoff movie for Chow Pleaaaaaase????!

Maybe not quite as good as the first, but close enough.

Final Grade
A

I’ll check in again when I see another movie.

HOLLA CITY OF SQUALA!!! I never want to go to Thailand.